Across the Pond Archive Page   

When you are out and about and a little tow-headed boy smiles at you and gives you an emphatic “HIYA!” please at least make a wee effort to acknowledge his presence. A smile and a “hiya” back would be even better. Please do not look at the little boy like he doesn’t even exist, or look at his Mum suspiciously like she is about to mug you (or even worse, give them that up-and-down look, scoffing inwardly that neither the Mum or the boy are dressed in designer gear…nevermind that you yourself are puffing away on your fag—-sorry, cigarette—dressed in a pink velour tracksuit sporting lots of gold-toned bling in order to detract from your “muffin top”) . Perhaps, just perhaps, they are being friendly and want to get to know people in the neighbourhood! And maybe, just maybe the Mum is trying to show her little boy that being cheerful counts for something, that there are indeed nice things in the world and going out for a walk and blowing dandelion seeds into the breeze is just a nice thing to do. This is ESPECIALLY directed at you fellow parents. You seem to be the worst offenders in this game of Competitive Parenting. So much for parenthood softening your heart.

And for those who do take the time to speak to that little boy and perhaps even his Mum, THANK YOU. You may have just brightened their day and restored some hope that humanity (at least in a certain Cheshire town) isn’t as calloused as previously thought.

I wish I could be a famous blogger or newspaper columnist, just so I KNEW that somehow, something I might be saying might be reaching a wider audience and be considered worthwhile. BUT I received a little confirmation that I do have something to say—whether or not it is worthwhile is up in the air!

I read Reader’s Digest. I actually have a subscription to the Canadian one which keeps me in touch with Canada a wee bit. I know that might be kind of tacky to admit, but it’s actually not a bad read. (I think the Cdn version is much better than the British one, btw) I read an article a few months back about the riddle of how to bring up boys—the old chestnut of whether men should be tough, or tender or if it’s in their genes to be totally at odds with how women think and feel. The article was thoughtful but I feel that it didn’t go deep enough, that it was open to misinterpretation. The article was also the topic of the online forum for that month, where readers can sound off their opinions on selected articles. So I wrote my tuppence worth, thinking nothing of it. When lo and behond, a few months later, my comments appeared in the March issue! If you can find a copy of the magazine, you’ll see my name in print. Go down to your local Doctor’s or Dentist’s clinic, I’m sure you’ll be able to find the magazine, ha ha!)
But for those of you who don’t have access to it, here’s what I said…

“As a mom of an 18-month old son, I admit that I was intially frightened because my husband and I didn’t have a clue how to raise a boy in today’s world. Do we raise him to be tough? To be tender? Are boys supposed to be “rough-and-tumble” or should we raise our son to be softer and gentler? But at the end of the day, the ultimate goal of parenting should be to raise any child to be a productive member of society and to contribute to making the world a better place.”

Gosh, it’s so weird to see my name in print! I don’t think I’ll make a habit of commenting on Reader’s Digest articles in future, lemme tell you, but it was a nice suprise for them to pick my comment to print.

I’vealso been delving into Facebook which is actually kinda cool (it’s all Desiree’s fault. I blame her! Just kidding, Des). I’ve had fun getting in touch with people I went to school with and it seems way more mature than MySpace (ie users on there aren’t all 18 years old). It’s a nice adjunct to blogging as you can just post brief comments on there and I’ve felt comfortable posting photos on there that friends can see but not the whole world. So I hope that more of you sign up and I’ll friend you! It’ll be nice to chat with you on a different level than blogging.

I’ve just celebrated a major birthday. Turning 35 really bugged me and I don’t know why. It kind of felt like New Years, when I tend to reflect on what I have/haven’t done etc. I really feel ancient because now, the 80s are officially considered retro. A shoe shop had a big display of its new line of retro shoes—which meant hot pink stilettos and the shade of bright green that will only go with one or two outfits. But, RETRO! 80s! OK, I’m getting off on a tangeant here.

But as far as birthdays go, it was alright. My son was nice to me, I got to sleep in til 6:30 AM (luxury!) and it was a pretty typical morning. G had the day off. I didn’t get any pressies but that was totally OK as I buy myself litttle treats during the year, and I don’t go out anymore so don’t need a lot of clothes, and I have books that I haven’t read yet so didn’t feel like buying any books so it wasn’t a big deal to not get any pressies. I could be really cheeky and put together an Amazon wishlist for people to buy me presents but does that really work anyway?—and I just couldn’t be that crass. We decided to go to Manchester by train, as G needed to go to the jeweller where we got our wedding rings from to see if his could be repaired so we thought we’d better do that while we had the chance. So we went after J’s nap and after we had lunch. J was a bit shell shocked on the train but seemed to relax when he discovered that he wasn’t strapped into his car seat :) We just had a walk around, we didn’t buy much at all which proves that we’re more “browsers” than “shoppers”. But to be honest Manchester felt really grubby; it had the really posh stores like Harvey Nichols and suchlike but walking down by the Oxford Road train station it just felt like Manchester consisted of grubby takeaways and pubs. We haven’t been to Manchester for ages but we don’t really feel the need to go back for a while if you know what I mean. A few hours there was enough, J was starting to get grumpy. We went to Marks and Spencer in Warrington to buy some nibbles (spring rolls, chicken wings, that sort of thing) instead of going out to eat which was nice and I felt relaxed by doing that, and just hanging out. I fed J, gave him a bath and put him to bed then we sat and nibbled and watched a bit of telly. I didn’t get a cake but we bought some chocolate mousse and some pannacotta (which is like a thick vanilla custard dessert topped with rasp. sauce) from M and S which was a treat so that was a good compromise.

So now it’s been back to reality. I haven’t been able to get out in my garden much because of the rain but it appears that the slugs and snails haven’t ravaged it—yet!